The blessing of... shoes???
If you've been following along with my blogs so far, you'll notice that I write about a lot of different things... beauty, dogs and kids, sports and food, along with some of the stories of the families I photograph, as well as my own. In a nutshell, I suppose the focus of my blog is life stories, or at least my reality of it, in the ways that I see it and experience it. My hope is that you'll be able to connect with some of these stories, because we all experience life in all of its ups and downs. We all have our stories.
Surprisingly, the one on my heart this morning is about shoes.... Yes, shoes. Stay with me if you have a few minutes... this is good stuff. Because it's about way more than shoes...
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"In the darkness of adversity, you are able to see more clearly the radiance of My Face."
~ from today's devotion, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
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I have come to understand and experience in my 43 years that God can use anything, and anyone, to answer prayer.
For the past couple years, my oldest son has gotten really into shoes. I suppose this doesn't surprise me too much. But he doesn't just like any shoes... he likes the expensive, fashionable kind. And not just one pair, but now it's one for each outfit! I've never been much into fashion for myself. For me, it's been about fit and comfort. And I honestly can't afford to keep up with the ever-changing styles! But- it's fun to see my kids interested in things other than video games, right?? We support them as much as we can in their interests... and that's when we recommended our 14-year-old go get a job to help pay for his new interest. And he did. (Proud mama here!)
So, what happens when older brother gets really interested in something? Often, so do younger brothers, who very much so love and look up to older brother (but will never admit it). My youngest 8-year-old does need new shoes. I've taken him out to many different places, and even tried ordering online, but he has come home frustrated and empty-handed because he can't find the super cool shoes that he wants in his size that fit right (and in a price range that I'm willing to pay for a 2nd grader!). He has a hand-me-down pair from one of his brothers that fits, so he finally told me the other day when I offered to take him back out shopping, "I'm fine. I have shoes that fit. It's fine." He was done. It made me sad, but I let it go for now. Christmas is coming up, so perhaps there's an opportunity there...?
As a parent, I want to provide the things that my kids desire and that give them joy! There's this natural longing within me to fill their needs, but unfortunately, I often find myself limited in that space. I'm not even talking about "things" anymore, or shoes... these things are fun and cool, but temporary. I'm talking about filling their needs of love, belonging, acceptance and confidence, at home and out in the world. But sometimes, I'm at a loss. Sometimes, I just cannot provide what they need. I cannot control their experience outside of this home, their reality at school, or how other kids talk to them and treat them. And it really hurts my heart.
Last night was a tough night for said 8-year-old. He's a very emotional being and feels things deeply. He struggled to get his homework done and kept crying about testing at school being stupid (everything he doesn't want to do or that feels hard or doesn't go his way is "stupid"). I totally get it and tried to empathize, assuring him that it's ok for things to feel hard, but I couldn't take that struggle away or even ease it enough to help him focus on the task that needed to be done.
So I finally said, "Let's forget it for now and go to bed - I can see how tired you are." He fought me at first, but gave in and headed upstairs, now more upset that he wasn't able to get his homework done.
He continued crying through brushing his teeth and getting into bed. There was more going on, emotional pain he was experiencing that he couldn't articulate to me, except for mumbling something about being a "loser" ... and no matter how much I told him I loved him and tried to comfort him, I couldn't. All I could do was pray.... "Lord, help him! Help me! Please help me to help him!" I gently rubbed sleep oils on his neck and kissed him good night as I always do, and left.
I felt helpless.
The next thing I know, who walks into his room and interrupts his emotional distress? Big brother. He says, "Get up - I have something for you. Put some socks on. I want to see if these shoes fit you." Then I hear a dresser drawer open and close. I sat in the next room with my 12-year-old son, and listened to my 14-year-old's deep, quiet, soothing voice, speaking ever so gently to his 8-year-old brother, but I couldn't make out what was being said. It didn't matter though, because no more than a minute later, out walks little brother, eyes smiling and face glowing, wearing his big brother's awesome, cool, old but in great condition, too big but still fits (kind of) shoes. After parading down the hall and back, he got back into bed and we said our "good nights" and "I love you's".
I realized then that God was listening, and he had answered my prayer. But I was not the one that God would use to help. God called big brother in to do what only he could do in that moment. He had just happened to be cleaning out his storage chest in his room and had found these shoes at the same time his brother needed them.
You know, though, it wasn't actually about the shoes.
I said to my almost-a-man son, "Do you even know that you were God's angel sent to answer a prayer just now?" He answered, "Yes, I do."
God has used many things and many people throughout my life to answer prayer.
Last night, he used shoes and brothers.
Thanks so much for reading! I'm Kristen Amber, and I'm a photographer specializing in business branding, families & newborns. If you need pictures, I'd love to hear from you and learn about how I can serve you!
Photos are Copyrighted: Kristen Amber Photography, LLC